"Wait, So is this a romantic date?" Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on "Wait, Is This a night out together?" we are joined by Autostraddle CEO and

L Term

specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That is correct! This event is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — setting up with pals' exes, friends setting up with these exes, as well as the culture created by everything crisis.

Appear for all the news, stay for the emotional running. And before that enjoy a-game that assessments Christina's borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically will never.)

Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments after all of our premier! For those who haven't however start thinking about giving us a rating or test!

PROGRAM RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood information
that is the intersection of all my personal passions.

+ Here Is
the essay
We reference where I mention setting up with my roommates.

+ My personal crush associated with week Mj Rodriguez released a music video for her tune
"something you should Say"
!

+ As somebody who has just observed a number of symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina's crush on the few days C.C. Babcock was actually surprising to me when it proved she and Niles aren't both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically nevertheless are.)

Drew:

I'd be extremely fine with-it current. I would personally never ever add someone else without their particular authorization. But the notion of whenever someone was actually like, "Confirm that you might be connected to myself," I'd be like, "Yeah, oahu is the existence I've stayed. I do not worry about." Is that weird? Would be that a problem?

Christina:

No, since if I wasn't, i might feel poor not being. I might be like, "hold off, I'm not lying?"

Theme tune performs

Drew:

Hi, I'm Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I'm Christina.

Drew:

And this is

Hold Off, So Is This A Night Out Together?

Christina:


Wait, Is It A Night Out Together?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the major questions. First, is it a romantic date? Exactly what are dates? Who are times? Can we like times? They are the sort of questions that we answer on this here extremely professional and lovely podcast.

Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I'm a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I'm Christina Tucker. I am additionally a writer at Autostraddle. I'm a loud queer on the net. I'm improving at describing myself personally as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is you. That is which the audience is.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore our primary subject this week could be the Chart.

Christina:

I simply believed it required a sting. I don't know. That felt really dramatic, but i do believe it required it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thank you so much, many thanks. No, no, no. The right amount of drama.

Christina:

Thank-you.

Drew:

Yeah. So we're discussing lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I like that term as it seems like you will need to resume the lesbians. It sounds just like the internet access isn't working.

Drew:

Yes. It's very advanced level, very innovative, but also has existed since there has been lesbians, In my opinion.

Christina:

Yeah. I do believe scholars would state once they found the very first lesbian fossils, they found an information alongside ones carved in to the mud. And I also genuinely believe that's what that film is mostly about, correct? It is more about the data? That flick with Kate Winslet and the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that's what it's about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

involved cavern ladies. I would view that lesbian movie.

Christina:

Really, as I have not observed it, I'm going to fearlessly point out that it actually was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it's like we now have so many lesbian period parts, but we have never eliminated right back that much. And I think it's the perfect time we do.

Christina:

Let us simply hold taking it furthermore back in its history.

Drew:

Before we obtain to your primary topic, you're however getting to know us. And that I felt that it would be fun to try out a-game where you men could truly get acquainted with Christina. Thus our icebreaker with this few days is only a little video game that I call "Would U-Haul."

Christina:

I am, again, thus stressed about any of it. This might just be the way in which I come inside online game. This might be my online game mindset, a little high-key, just a little stressed. That is ok. We're all reading.

Drew:

I think which is fantastic. I believe that will have you more vulnerable, maybe.

Christina:

One of my favorite feelings.

Drew:

Only a terror, merely a serious horror. Therefore the method in which "Would U-Haul" really works is actually i will describe a situation. Why don't we call it Christina follower fiction. And I'm attending pause after every small section getting want, "Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never ever resided with a partner, do not want to accept a partner. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?"

Christina:

And I will either say yes or we'll state, "I'm prepared."

Drew:

If you do not — really, we will see right here. But i am thrilled. I do believe I've maybe cracked the signal.

Christina:

You've cracked the code? I'm excited.

Drew:

Let's find out how very long this requires. Incase you never would, i do believe you victory? I don't know exactly how you can find winners right here.

Christina:

I am not sure that there are champions in the online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I don't know in the event that you'll go along with that next. Thus I'm going to get heading.

Christina:

Reasonable adequate.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You're at your buddy's marriage. Regardless of the plethora of romcoms you've soaked up, you did maybe not head to this marriage thinking you'd satisfy anybody because, really, this is not a romcom. This is actually the actual and regular lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You're taking the designated seat and are usually glancing at your phone as soon as you understand a woman at the table is wanting at you. She introduces by herself as your buddy's previous babysitter. She actually is stayed a buddy with the family members, but she does not actually know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You set about talking. She proposes to enable you to get a drink. Once she rises, you understand she is six feet tall, 6′ 3″ in heels. You know very well what? I'm simply gonna stop there and start to become similar, now, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am fascinated. I am fascinated because i would get laid at this wedding. But so far I'm not U-Hauling everywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That's completely fair. Completely reasonable. Okay. So you spend whole wedding ceremony getting to know the other person. There is only a sudden spark and instant biochemistry. And yes, you do attach together with sex is actually incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And so this marriage was at Northern California. And so you both expand your own remains for three days to shag and check out and consume at restaurants and screw. And you provide to split the cost of the today joint area, but she laughs you down and it is like, "clearly perhaps not, honey." Therefore the next three days tend to be magic. You're feeling the wall space tumbling all the way down. You are falling faster than you actually have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Thus just for quality's benefit, i am having difficulty imagining some sort of whereby I got three shock days away from try to spend time with you i actually do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. However, if i did so, advantageous to myself. But i am not really U-Hauling at this time. It's going to be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is fine. You just found. I have it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank-you so much.

Drew:

So she comes back to nyc and you also come back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where I stay.

Drew:

And you are texting continuously. That is where you are living and it is in which this lady resides. And you are texting everyday and you see each other multiple times monthly. She's extremely busy along with her task, but she is fast purchase you a train admission so you can appear see her and stay at the woman gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. And then 6 months go. And another evening if you are out to meal, she requires one to relocate with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And go on to Ny? I do not love New York. No, I am not transferring at six months level. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Entirely, completely, completely. Wow. Okay. And that means you keep matchmaking long-distance. She knows that you want time and she's willing to expect you. Some more several months pass. It really is now been over per year. The property manager lets you know that they are attempting to sell your place to a developer that is setting up condos, you can not renew it. You will need to get a hold of a new spot. The now girlfriend informs you that no pressure, but her provide however appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. Now, i might U-Haul for two reasons.

Drew:

Yay! Okay. Please tell us.

Christina:

Largely, in a global where my property manager marketed the house to develop it, my personal property manager is my personal closest friend, to make certain that appears like something has gone wrong inside our relationship. And that I may want to just leave Philadelphia in any event. Of course, if I have to maneuver in using my girlfriend over here, that appears fine. Which is good. Totally fine. But yeah, I think i would require an external power like a mean landlord.

Drew:

Which is so — ok. I did think that you'd want to need property in order to get there, so I'm pleased I understood that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is exactly what must affect myself first.

Drew:

Really, i am happy to understand what it does take. Therefore theoretically, if you weren't kicked out, how much cash more time?

Christina:

Actually, that may went on for quite some time. Philly and New York are not actually that definately not each other. I acquired space over here. We are jumping backwards and forwards. We are having fun. I possibly could have let that roll for some time until i assume Shoshana can become the worst person I'm sure.

Drew:

I didn't know Shoshana possessed your own home. Really, there you choose to go.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, that has been exciting.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I'm pressured, as obvious.

Drew:

And I'm grateful that I'm sure… possibly if you should be actually, so if anyone's ever matchmaking both you and wants one move around in, possibly the sweetheart informed Shoshana to offer the house in the interest of your connection.

Christina:

Genuinely the quickest way — some body would simply have to consult with Shoshana and be similar, "merely kick her aside." And she'd resemble, "Yeah, sure. However." That would be the way it happened, regardless if she don't promote our home. Some body would you should be like, "is it possible to just stop their out very she will only conquer it and move in with me?" And she would state yes. Double she'd accomplish that. That's what relationship is actually.

Drew:

I favor that.

Christina:

Yeah, that's really beautiful.

Drew:

Really, personally i think like we discovered many in regards to you.

Christina:

Many Thanks. I believe like We discovered much about myself personally, also. Danger of homelessness is truly the thing that keeps me personally relocating any situation, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that's fantastic.

Christina:

Which was truly exciting. I am just as happy to move into our main sector because i do believe speaing frankly about lesbian connection with this guest, using this special visitor, In my opinion it will be amazing, Drew. How could you be experiencing?

Drew:

I'm very excited. This is exactly an expert. And by that, after all an

L Word

expert, but additionally a small amount of an expert in the subject accessible.

Christina:

I do believe a few things are genuine, my buddy. I believe a few things is real undoubtedly. Will we desire to present all of our visitor or will we wish our very own guest introducing by themselves?

Drew:

I would love all of our visitor to introduce by herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I am going to declare that all of our visitor is the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I'm Riese. And it's really weird become the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, it really is.

Riese:

I got to not state something. I did not even exercise. Used to do say things. I experienced to sit here silently.

Christina:

And also you happened to be truly brave. Along with your faces had been valued.

Riese:

Thank you so much really.

Christina:

Though this is clearly an audio method, I want all of our listeners to understand that Riese was actually creating some very nice reaction faces during "Would U-Haul."

Riese:

There is various ways to be heard. You-know-what after all? That is what i usually say. Im the President of Autostraddle.com. And I also'm additionally on an undefeated kickball team. That is certainly myself. I've a dog known as Carol. And that I have dated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats regarding the kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I've been involved with people.

Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. Which is fantastic to create to this, this here internet dating podcast. Which is great.

Riese:

Yeah. I do believe that… Is there anything else?

Drew:

No, In my opinion which is great, Riese.

Christina:

What you may should discuss.

Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.

Christina:

In Contrast to…

Riese:

You Are Aware an individual goes like…

Drew:

It really is like whenever you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are gross, and so I merely evacuated them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. And that's all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, I immediately considered you with this topic.

Christina:

That is correct.

Drew:

Because first, demonstrably, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian community have already been like, I don't know, having sexual intercourse with others which people they know have obtained gender with since a long time before

The L Word

was actually actually ever a sequence. But i actually do feel just like

The L Word

solidified a certain cultural idea of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you'll have lots of understanding of this subject.

Riese:

It's real. A couple of authors, I would like to state, of

The L Term

had this actual information of those and their friends these were attracting regarding wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, ended up being one. She chatted to all of us regarding it, they had created this. Because demonstrably, everybody else for the reason that copywriter's space had banged other folks during the journalist — you know, as well as the lengthy web of these generation of lesbians in la. And in addition they watched can these people were like, "let us place it inside the tv show." Plus some of them take the chart. Like, one particular which … like, genuine individuals are on the data as a joke.

Christina:

That's amazing. That is the manner in which you learn you have made it.

Riese:

Isn't really that adorable?

Christina:

That might be exciting for me personally.

Riese:

So when you yourself haven't viewed

The L Word,

first and foremost, congrats. Secondly, it becomes the centerpiece of one in our head personality, Alice's, apartment. She's all of it over the woman wall structure. Plus it is the name of a website they started called ourchart.com that flopped. In addition to idea … and it is inside the pilot, In my opinion. Into the initial event, Alice starts writing about just how everyone's connected, because every person's installed with this particular person. And I can connect you, as you're probably no more than two degrees from me personally. Which was real. Like, despite having Dana, who'd not a lot of knowledge because she had been a closeted golf member, they however could actually link the lady. And that is real world since it is genuine.

Christina:

Which is tradition. Yeah. That's what society appears like.

Riese:

Which is culture. Which is queer tradition right there. And from now on everybody can make their very own maps.

Christina:

Yeah. To make certain that would end up being my personal subsequent question, had been have actually either people made a chart? Because I really don't imagine We have, and I am sorts of today thinking like, what was this just last year seated within my house for easily didn't create a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, truly?

Riese:

I believe I accomplished it inside my journal, in the same way like … Because I like, I am not sure, arranging info, i assume, as an idea physical exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, I think which is also why I am surprised that I haven't accomplished it. I really like the concept of categorizing things.

Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Because it's interesting. I don't know the reason why its thus fascinating, but it is. It really is fascinating getting love, wow, most of these individuals, they are linked. Its untamed.

Drew:

On the tv show, as soon as ourchart.com is developed, they've an actual chart that folks can add on things. And I also feel like something you joked about on

To L and Back,

and from now on individuals state continuously is like, when this existed in a proper method, no one would place their own labels on it, no body would feel safe putting their unique brands upon it.

Riese:

You might.

Drew:

I would personally. I might be very great with-it existing. I would personally never ever add another person without their unique permission. However the thought of want, whenever some one ended up being like, "make sure you might be linked to me," I would resemble, "Yeah, it is the existence i have stayed. I really don't mind." Is strange? Is the fact that a problem?

Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn't, i'd feel bad not-being … i might wind up as, "hold off, I am not about it? Like, I'm sorry, what?" No, that will really send me personally into lighting ethical panic about exactly who I am as someone, the thing I'm undertaking. Are we interesting? Do individuals {like
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